Bling

Fairy. that bitch

This is how it all began. Two co workers with one life changing idea

wait... What are you drinking?

Ostrich

VIA Facebook: 5/19/13  0713

Wish I were an ostrich, bury my head in the sand...but then my ass would be exposed, fitting since I can be an Ass!!!

Effing car!

Via Facebook  5/13/13 0757

Effing car!!!!! #@$-%#@! Can you say scrap metal???? Happy monday to me!

epic truck

I leaned up against the truck, can u tell????

Bang your HEAD!!

VIA Facebook 5/18/13 1108

Has cleared a spot on her desk and is fixing to use it to repeatedly to BEAT my head against it! I think I will save 100% by switching to "not give a eff". Aaaahhhhh!

Starbucks

VIA Facebook 5/18/13 0756

I am drinking a "Mocha Choca hocka hooka" something with chocolate chips, coffee, and whipped cream from Starbucks! MMmmmmm....Starbucks should be classified as a narcotic... ;)

Word of the Day: Schmooz

VIA work converstation   5/18/13 0919

"I schmoozed him over, but I think it would help if you schmoozed him over some."

Ambercrombie

VIA Facebook: 5/16/13 1045

"Hi! Welcome to Abercrombie. Our sizes are: Small, X-Small, Bulimic, Anorexic, and Malnourished." A REAL woman has curves (yup, I am still on this kick...)

Toothache

VIA Facebook: 5/17/13 1004

I know I said childbirth is the most painful, with Kidney Stones being right up there... but I take it back, A TOOTHACHE (teeth not tooth) MAKES YOU WANNA SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE FACE!  

Paul's an Ass

VIA Facebook: 5/17/13 1530

Feel bad for robbing Peter, but Paul, not so much, he's an ass!

6 Pack

VIA Facebook: 5/18/13  0508

I did 25 sit ups this morning....like I do every morning. It's not much, but how many times can ya hit the snooze button????? Man, I should have 6 pack abs!!! But instead, I have a case......